The Art of an Enhanced Marriage
Marriage is one of life's most profound commitments, a journey two people embark on together, hoping to build a lasting and fulfilling partnership. Yet, we dive right in without the communication skills or individual work needed to form a secure relationship. While the foundation of a strong marriage is love, trust, and mutual respect, maintaining and enhancing that relationship requires ongoing effort and dedication. An "enhanced marriage" isn't just about maintaining the status quo—it's about ACTIVELY SEEKING to elevate your relationship, deepen the connection, and grow together.
What Does an Enhanced Marriage Look Like?
An enhanced marriage characterizes a continuous improvement in the quality of the relationship. It's about moving beyond the basics and striving for a deeper, more satisfying connection. This might mean better communication, renewed intimacy, or a more profound understanding of each other's needs and desires. Life transitions like having children and career changes can often make these improvements more challenging, but the key is that both partners actively improve the marriage daily. In session, I usually say, "Let's use this experience to refine your relationship to the next level."
Critical Elements of an Enhanced Marriage
Open and Honest Communication: Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. In an enhanced marriage, partners openly discuss their feelings, desires, and fears beyond surface-level conversations. In session, I help my clients feel safer about saying the hard things to their partner. I help them understand that their vulnerability to share feelings that they see as weak or insecure often builds up emotional intimacy between the couple. It creates a safe space for both to express themselves and work through challenges together.
Shared Goals and Values: Couples in an enhanced marriage often clearly understand their goals and values. Whether building a family, pursuing career ambitions, or traveling the world, having common objectives helps align your lives and keeps you moving forward. This shared vision creates excitement about the future and a strong sense of unity.
Emotional and Physical Intimacy: Intimacy is more than just physical connection; it's about being emotionally available and vulnerable with your partner. An enhanced marriage sees both partners nurturing this intimacy, ensuring that both feel valued, loved, and understood. For example, life can make emotional or physical intimacy a challenge. Whether it be a death in the family that makes connecting with your partner more challenging emotionally or an injury that makes physically connecting with your partner difficult. These challenges create opportunities for you to get creative and support each other in a new way.
Mutual Respect and Support: Respecting each other's individuality, opinions, and choices is crucial. This one comes up frequently. When one partner feels like their perspective isn't valid, watch out! Differences of opinions will happen; the tone and respect we align with them can lead to a productive conversation or disastrous results. In an enhanced marriage, partners are each other's biggest supporters, even when their perspectives don't always line up.
Continuous Growth: As individuals grow and evolve, so should a marriage. An enhanced marriage embraces change, with both partners committed to learning, growing, and adapting. This might involve setting aside time for self-improvement, attending workshops or counseling, or simply trying new experiences together. For instance, learning a new language or adapting to a new job or living situation can be ways to grow and adapt as a couple.
The Benefits of an Enhanced Marriage
The rewards of working toward an enhanced marriage are immense. Couples often find themselves more connected, happier, and better equipped to handle life's challenges. The joy and happiness that come with knowing that you're surviving and thriving together is deeply satisfying. Enhanced marriages tend to be more resilient, with both partners feeling fulfilled and appreciated.
Final Thoughts
An enhanced marriage takes continuous work. It doesn't happen overnight. It's a journey of constant improvement, patience, and love. Committing to elevating your relationship builds a stronger bond and creates a fulfilling partnership that stands the test of time. Whether you're newly married or have been together for decades, there's always room to grow and enhance your marriage, making it the best it can be. Unsure of where to start? Couples therapy is a great place to invest time and strengthen your relationship.