Building a More Enriched Marriage Through Better Communication

What's the number one reason people call for couples therapy? Communication. It was exciting when you decided to get married and felt like you had all the love you needed to create a thriving relationship. You had the best intentions to love and respect your partner. Reality sets in, and you notice that both partners bring unique background experiences, possible traumas, and family dynamics that make daily life more complicated than expected. Communicating around your new reality can get intense, and the relationship you thought would be so easy starts to feel fragile. This is where couples therapy comes in. Couples therapy provides a safe and supportive space for you to navigate these challenges and create a more enriched marriage. Let me explain...

Communication

The Many Layers of Communication

Communication is more than just sharing information. It provides an opportunity for understanding, vulnerability, and connection. Whether it involves sharing your dreams or addressing complex issues, communication should be a safe place for open dialogue. This creates a stronger bond that leads to a relationship that can endure the ups and downs of marriage.

Misunderstanding and unresolved feelings can create assumptions and distance without a solid communication base. When addressed, they can strengthen the emotional foundation of the union. A couple's goal should include continuously prioritizing communication to create a more secure relationship.

Common barriers to communication

I want to go over the biggest offenders when communication isn't prioritized.  

Tone: When you try to discuss an emotionally charged subject and your tone is belittling or snarky, this can fuel a discussion that is driven with contempt. Not only is this destructive to the conversation, but it can also be dangerous for the relationship.

Distractions: Schedules, technology, and stress can all limit communication.

Distracted

Assumptions: Assuming you know what your partner is thinking or feeling can lead to miscommunication.

Poor listening skills: Are you listening to respond or trying to understand what your partner is saying? If you listen to respond, your relationship will become competitive—not relational!

Avoidance of Difficult Topics: Some couples avoid discussing sensitive or emotional subjects, fearing conflict.

What to do?

Active listening

Some practical skills can help refine communication. Active listening is genuinely paying attention to what your partner is discussing without criticism, interruption, or distractions. It's essential to give your utmost attention by limiting distractions like phones. Show empathy by making eye contact and reflecting that you understand how that must feel. As said above, refrain from listening to respond and absorb their complete message. I'm talking to you men. One of your most considerable gifts is that you want to fix problems when your partner is struggling. I see you! You find joy in supporting your partner. However, you must refrain from "fixing" a problem if your partner wants to release something they are struggling with.  

"I statements"

I statements are another great tool when dealing with conflict. Communicating using "I" statements rather than "you"statements can make a big difference in the outcome of your discussion. This limits the likelihood of your partner becoming defensive. Instead, it puts the focus on your feelings without placing blame.

"I statements"

Create Emotional Intimacy Through Vulnerability

What couples sometimes miss is that you limit creating deep connections when you are scared to be vulnerable. It can feel scary to share your fears and insecurities, but your partner wants to know who you are—just like you want your partner to provide that space for you. Here's an example of some open-ended questions that can help foster a more vulnerable connection.  

What's something that has been challenging you lately?

How can I support you?

Tell me about your dreams for the next five years.

Vulnerability

Conclusion: The Journey Toward Deeper Connection

Better communication in marriage is not a one-time fix but an ongoing practice. In order for your relationship to become enhanced, you have to be extremely intentional about how you communicate with each other. It requires patience, effort, and a willingness to grow individually and together. By improving your listening skills, expressing your feelings openly, and creating a safe emotional space, you lay the foundation for a more enriched and fulfilling marriage.

Remember, the goal isn't to avoid all conflict but to communicate through it with love, respect, and empathy. A strong, healthy marriage is built daily through thoughtful, compassionate conversations that remind each other of your bond and the love that continues to grow.